Sunday, May 31, 2009 9:46 pm

pain

listen, ♥
your lies would keep me alive.

sometimes, its nt good to knw too much abt someone
because whn things happen, you tend to wanna run away.
sometimes, its nt good to walk away frm situations
because you have to face them eventually.
sometimes, its all abt letting go
because there are other things that can spur you on.

and life is unpredictable and nt for me to decide.
all my life, i've been living a lie.
thanks for hurting me time and again, you SUCK big time. (:

i tried to walk away frm what life is bringing me through
but i realise i'm nt strong enough.
i keep allowing myself to wallow in the past
and to think of the good times we use to share.

thank you for making me realise how much of a fool i am, believing you
and to think that i'll always have you there for me.

goodbye to the blatant lies and hello to the cold hard truth.
i've seen through you and thank you for keeping me alive,
with all your lies.
you've been a joy to have arnd thanks to your lies. (:

seriously, you dun deserve any of these treatment.
its my fnal goodbye to you.

i will nt cry or break away.
i will be strong and carry on. (:

thank you for inviting me to your birthday party Weixiong
and for the people who were present,
thank you for making my day a better one. (:
XOXO.

i'll count the steps that you take.

MARTHA!

9:30 pm

sunshine

listen, ♥

Dearest Sunshine,

you are a good friend as long as you tell yourself you are. (:
seriously, you dun have to change anything for anyone
because all you have to be, is yourself and nth more thn that.

the best things abt you is your fun and chirpy ways
and iloveyou for that.
being frank and straightforward will bring you a long way
and for that people love you. (:
its okay to be yourself because everyone wants to be you in different ways.

i may nt understand you ultra well but i will try to, given the time.
i will give you my implicit trust because i knw you deserve it.

a best friend is one who will stand by you
even whn the world turns their back on you.
a best friend is one who will walk with you through thick and thin
without looking back at the bad times you shared.
a best friend is one who will remember everything you do together,
be it good or bad.
a best friend is one who sees the good in you
and criticises to make you a better person.
a best friend is one who will always be there to catch you whn you fall
and be that light in your darkest days. (:

sometimes in life, we dun have everything we want
but nvr be afraid because you'll find your answer, somehow.
never give up on things that makes you smile
because life will bring you through many ups and downs.
its all abt learning hw to get by it.

life is a bitch and it is not for us to decide.
so stand tall and be strong
because destiny will pull you through.

no matter what, you knw i'm there. (:
iloveyouSunshine, always. :D

xoxo,
MARTHA!

Thursday, May 28, 2009 10:41 pm

dedications

listen, ♥

i'll rip my heart and bare my soul
just to see you alive and smiling
cause you mean ever so much to me.

in a blink of an eye, everything can falter and fall apart.
my faith in you is still undergoing to test and the endurance of time.
but the truth remains, you'll nvr be mine
to walk that road which depicts forever.

so to you, the love of my life
i'm sorry i'm letting it go.
to pursue your happiness and freedom is what you want
but nt for me to knw.

our goals in life differ so much
that something we dunno
how much we tend to hurt the one we love and hold.
so whn i see your smiling face,
i knw love will bring you home.

- Martha

to my Love, frm the bottom of my heart.

Dearest Love,

i'm sorry i was helpless and dumbfounded whn i saw you cry.
i wish i could do more thn just sit there and watch you
but all i could offer was a pat on your back, hoping things will go right.
i knw i shld have done more thn that.
whn i sought my heart to find the right words to say,
no words of contenment could i find.

but deep down inside, i knew that you needed some time alone.
to think and to reflect on what life is bringing you through.
i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.

i wanted to do more thn just sit there and stare
at your teary and puffy face and eyes.
but all i could do was offer these words ;
dun worry, everything will be fine.

i tried very hard to keep myself calm
but i failed so miserably.
until i could find the right words to say,
i didnt dare look you in the eye.
i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.

i knw i shld do more thn just say these
cause action speaks louder thn words.
but my heart was pumping so fast
that i could hardly breathe.

whn i saw tears roll down your cheeks,
my heart shattered.
in my heart, i was crying alongside you.
can you sense that pain of mine?

i'm sorry i couldnt offer you words of comfort whn you needed it
and for sitting there beside you dumbfounded, i'm doubly sorry.
iloveyou and thats for sure.
you knw you can always count on me to be there,
to catch you whn you fall and to hold you whn you're down.

life's a jigsaw puzzle, its nt very easy to piece it together
but easy to tear it apart.
we'll walk through this dark times together
and i promise to be your light.

iloveyou, thats for sure.

xoxo,
MARTHA!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 4:10 pm

fit

listen, ♥
how could you be so heartless?

some people try so hard to climb up that coperate level
but they falter ever so easily.
some people dream their way through life
but they sink too deep and are unable to snap back to life.
some people live in despair,
never finding their way out or their true self.

which category of people do i belong to?
i really wonder at times.

gp was a nightmare cause i wasnt prepared well enough.
my mind went blank whn i gt the paper
and i couldnt think of what to write. ):
but nevertheless, i completed my paper and am satisfied, NOT.

Rachel is nt replying my textes. ):
she's making me nt wanna run alrdy, LOL!
okay, i'm tired. GOODBYE!

YAY, i get to see Sunshine ltr. :D
i miss her to bitzxzxzx.

Voda hasnt gotten bck to me since she left.
):
i wanna cryyy.

okay, Bunny was hilarious earlier on
and my tummy still hurts frm all the laughing. :P

why must cotton on have their sales whn i dun have money? ):
bloody moron! :P

to a new paradise.

MARTHA!

7:01 am

complains

listen, ♥
could this be the greatest love of all?

the phone refused to ring at 530am
and i was thinking WHY.
i havent slept all night,
thinking of the possible ways i could fight on
but to no avail, oh well. ):

just whn i was abt to slam my phone,
i realise that i was suppose to charge in before i sleep
but forgot cause i was texting.

so i kicked the blankets at 545am
and dragged myself out to lappy to get it charged
cause i didnt wanna climb up to get my phone ltr on.
and nw, my phone is almost fully charged. :D
i'm a happy kid but Mum's screaming at me thanks to the phone bill.
uh, fark that. i wanna change my hp plan so freaking badly.

Nanny seem sick, GET WELL SOON! xoxo.
and theres top girls on friday. ):
i'm suppose to meet my girlfriends. ):
now i'm a sad sad kid, thinking of hw i shld tell my girlfriends.
oh, and its tanglin's achiever's day. ):
i'm farking saddddd, i nvr missed any achiever's day
and this year i have to give it a miss. ):
):

i guess i'm gonna crack up like soon?
i have gp exam in abt 90mins
and i feel like screaming out loud.

okie dokie, getting bck to my books. :{
wish me luck. :P

i knw that you will catch me whn i fall.

MARTHA!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 6:48 pm

sacrifice

listen, ♥
cause it wun stop.

i'm logging off aft i've blogged
because i need to mugg very hard for my gp promos tmr.
*screams*
time pass so freaking fast and promos are here.
thank goodness its only 1 paper,
i really cannot imagine the other papers that i'll be sitting for,
aft the june holidays.
i'm praying hard, like super duper uper hard.

i was working so much for all my h2 subjects today
that my hands hurt so freaking much from writing.
every h2 lesson was an essay test and woah,
i'm dreading the june holidays to end
cause i have to study and mugg very hard.

on a happier note, holidays in less thn a week.
YAY! :D
but theres sch which i dread oh so much
cause of extra lessons and catching up and consultation.
oh gosh, my brains are being blown away please!
just kill me somehow. ): i feel so bloody dead alrdy.

i promise to mugg hard during the holidays
because i wanna do kick ass well for my promos.
i swear i wanna get good results,
i dread all the red underlines under my marks. ):

and now, its time to study.
i'll study until tonight and tmr morning. ):
i'm such a sad sad kid, but it'll be all worth it right?

on a happier note, SUNSHINE IS BACK IN SINGAPORE! :D
i get to see her tmr. :D
Rachel and i were suppose to run earlier on but we were lazy
thanks for the weather. HAHA!
and so we'll run tmr, aft i'm done with Fazila at cck. (:
and thn i'll meet Sunshine at night! :D

the school week has officially ended.
all we have is test and stupid SEL camps
which is oh so stupid but we'll live by it, somehow. (:
okie dokie. BYEEEE! (:

J, sometimes i dun mean it that way.
its the things you do. i'm sorry. ):

VODA, I MISS YOU TRUCK LOADS PLEASE! ):
i'm waiting for july. your birthday's coming. :P
xoxo.

oh, i havent hydrated myself enough since sunday
and i still feel very much tired but i'll live by it.
10.4km conquered, my next challenge is 21km! :D

i will be there.

MARTHA!

Sunday, May 24, 2009 9:58 pm

pissed

9:18 pm

today

listen, ♥
i wanted you to love me.

awww, everyone thinks i curled my hair and i'm sad. ):
its okay, i'll get by sooner thn expected.

Mum bought me bread to eat in sch and a magazine. :D
i'm like so freaking happy! ♥

the run this morning was good
even though i didnt clock the timing i wanted to.

okay, i'm tired and need some rest.
after s factor though. :P

oh my gwad, i'm so freaking lazy to do my hmwrk
and i'm annoyed with myself. ):

just close your eyes.

MARTHA!

Saturday, May 23, 2009 12:15 pm

stupid

listen, ♥
whatever it takes.

life's so difficult to predict, just like humans are
and sometimes, its really sad to nt understand the one you love.

argh, Mum's so bitchy and demanding whn she cannot get things her way
and i HATE it so freaking much.
i have the urge to tell her in her face that life's like that
and to freaking stop whinning and get on with life, but no.
she's my Mum. i'm just waiting for a right moment to tell her that.

i'm so lazy to get ready to meet Rachel. -.-
my abs is killing me so badly and i'm down with flu. -.-
tmr's the race. like zomg, i'm nt prepared at all. ):

okie dokie, off to do my hmwrk before getting ready and packing my bag.
lappy's been a little weird lately. ):

one the love that we share.

MARTHA!

12:12 pm

roy

listen, ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROY!

you can hate me all you want for nt turning up for you birthday party,
it doesnt really matter. (:
have a great day.

xoxo,
MARTHA!

Friday, May 22, 2009 10:28 pm

dumb

listen, ♥
i wanted to be there for you like no one else before.

i wanna scream in your face and tell you hw much i farking HATE you
but i dun wanna lose an idiotic friend like you.
hence, i shall refrain frm such act and pretend that i'm okay INFRONT of you.
i'm such a hypocrite but who farking cares, everyone's like that toooo.

the weather is affecting me soooo freaking much, i'm going haywire.
my muscle aches are killing me and i cannot laugh/cough/sneeze,
hw petatic does that sound please.

race on sunday, *screams* i'm nt really prepared. ):
my 5km earlier on sucked so freaking much. ):
i wish i could run freaking faster please! *ROAR*
oh, fark that, its ovr alrdy.

on a happier note, my knee didnt hurt. :D
okay, i wanna sleep. i'm very tired.
i get to stayovr at Rachel's tmr. :D
i get to see Huishi tmr. :D
haha, i sound so (bimbo x lesbo). :P
but who cares. :X

i'm tired and i wanna sleep.
GOODNIGHT and thank you for reading. (:

Voda, i miss you most. ):
MrTham, i miss you. ):
Silly, i miss you. ):
Laogong, i miss you. ):
J, i miss you. ):
i miss so many people. ): ): ):

means iloveyou.

MARTHA!

6:33 pm

tagged

listen, ♥
just close your eyes.

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kiss?
; forehead. :P
2. How do you feel when you wake up this morning?
; irritated cause its 7am. ):
3. Who was the last person you took photo with?
; CienDearr. (:
4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
; a little? :P
5. Would you ever donate blood?donate ??
; HELL NO!
6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex?
; yes. :D
7. Do you want someone dead?
; ABSOLUTELY!
9. What are you thinking right now?
; hw to complete my hmwrks. ): ): ):
10. Do you wish someone to be with you right now?
; yes. (:
11. What is the time you go to bed last night?
; 1145pm. )x
12. Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
; tanglin secondary school. (x
13. Is someone on your mind?
; yes. :P
14. Who was the last person who texted you?
; LooneeBuddy. :D
15. Tag 10 random people to do this survey.
1. FareenAiai
2. CienDearr
3. BalqisLove
4. FazilaBunny
5. JeslynDearest
6. ShueeSunshine
7. RebeccaVoda
8. LooneeBuddy
9. HweejiePrecious
10. MeiyanHoney
16. Who is no. 2 having relationship with?
; :P
17. Is no. 3 a male or female?
; female. (:
18. If no. 7 & no. 10 get together, would it be a good thing?
; NO. they're mine. :X
19. What is no. 1 studying about?
; business info system. (:
20. When was the last time you had a chat with them?
; yesterday. :D
21. Is no. 4 single?
; not exactly. :P
22. Say something about no. 3.
; she's my Love. :D
23. What do you think about no. 3 & no. 5 being together?
; hahaha, idk hw to react.
24. Descibe no. 9.
; she's my ultra skinny Precious little girl. (:
25. What will you do if no. 6 & no. 7 fight?
; i'll be devastated but i knw it wouldnt happen. :D
26. Do you like no. 8?
; of course, she's my Buddy okay!

for you NarimahDear. (:
i'll blog ltr in the night, whn i'm feeling better.

revolve arnd me.

MARTHA!

Thursday, May 21, 2009 11:03 pm

sore

listen, ♥
the best of both worlds.

my muscles are aching so bloody badly
i think i'm falling apart, soon. LOL!
i'm nt that brittle so oh well.

school was boring and the bio test sucked so badly. ):
i studied but still didnt knw hw to do.
i'm over it, all use to it remember?

5km tmr, YAY!
i shall run as fast as i can,
enduring all the muscle aches.
hohoho, you suck #%& (:

i saw Aiai and Dearr at westmall.
i was so freaking happy! :D
iloveyou girls so much!

tuition ended early cause MrsKhan's son was in the hospital.
GET WELL SOON!

i met J for abit since i ended early
and he happen to be arnd the area. :D

Sunshine left for perth today
and i'm so gonna miss her. ):
come home soon, i havent seen you in awhile!

heading over to Roy's bbq party tmr
to celebrate his 18th birthday.

fully packed/booked for the week.
Saturday ; meet Rachel and Huishi for stayovr at Rachel grandma's hse
cause we have a race on sunday.
Sunday ; saucony run, i wanna do my best. (:
please dun screw up, my dear knee.

VODA, I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! ):

please dun take my sunshine away.

MARTHA!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 9:37 pm

tired

listen, ♥
somebody told me.

my legs are aching so badly
it couldnt help cover the distance i had to. ):
oh well, its okay
because aft all, i completed everything. (:

i'm very tired and drained,
i have no bloody motivation to my bio hmwrk
or study for the freaking test that i have to sit for.
furthermore, i have uncompleted tuition hmwrk
and there's tuition tmr.
*screams*

theres so much to do in so little freaking time.
i miss MrTham so much. ):
MrChua taught us stretches that MrTham taught me ages ago.
i miss you soooo much, i wish i could see you soon. ):

i wanna sleep, i'll wake up early tmr to do my hmwrk
and to study for my test.
fark chinese project, its wrongly done
and i farking dun wanna be the one editting it
cause i'm sick and tired of it.
FARK CHINESE!

the teacher say i'm a good student. :D
but still, fark chinese.
i hate the subject so freaking much!

through it all.

MARTHA!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 11:39 pm

project

listen, ♥
you reap what you sow.

FARK CHINESE PROJECT!
its driving Evelyn and me insane to the point of death.
and YAY i gt such an incompetant grp member
that hardly did anything but is gonna claim credit
so fark that as well, tmd.

thank you people who helped me with my work
cause my chinese suck to the extreme core.
your help was more thn enough to pull me through this shit!

thank you Aiai, for never failing to be there
and for helping me to find all the info i need.
thank you Dearr, for the translation
and for doing the pie chart for me.
thank you FeliciaSweetheart for helping me to start on microsoft word
cause mine isnt working for idk what reason.
thank you VERY much,
its more thn enough to knw that i'll always have someone there.
nt forgetting Evelyn for doing her work
and Louis for helping me, somehow.
THANK YOU PEOPLE!

thank you for staying up to accompany me Dear.
i owe you toooo much for making you stay up with me all the time.

okayy, i need to complete my work
and get my sleep. ):
i'm farking tired and drained.
need to pack my shithead sch bag.
tmd, go and die chinese project.

sorrow becomes his soul mate.

MARTHA!

6:24 pm

despair

listen, ♥
for all the times you stood by me.

have you ever felt as though you were useless and helpless
whn actually you have the whole world there for you?
have you ever wonder whether people would always be there for you
whn actually the whole world is standing by you?
have you ever felt insecure and threatened
whn actually theres so many people there to protect you?
have you ever walked down the road all alone,
thinking of whn you'll die or if anything would happen all of a sudden?
have you ever thought hw much you mean to someone
and always nt get a reply but knw that they'll always be there?

i guess i have to be the happiest kid arnd
cause i have all the love and support in the world
but no, i'm nt the least bit happy.
am i just selfish or do i just want more?
i'm confused myself and i wish i had all the answer to my doubts.

you promised to be the answer to all my doubts
but you nvr fulfilled it.
you promised to carry me and run forever
but you nvr fulfilled it too.
you said i was your forever
but you nvr proved it.

am i to trust you all ovr again
or just ignore the chances that we have?
i deserve to be loved and cherished and i obviously am.
so with or without you, i'll keep rocking with a smile
and keep pretending that everything's okay.

i miss you J. ):

you make me see the difference in life.

MARTHA!

Monday, May 18, 2009 7:52 pm

today

listen, ♥
till death do us apart.

i reluctantly left home at like 220pm
and headed for sony ericsson at toh guan.
i thought i'll take forever to find the building
but no, it was right infront of me whn i alighted frm the bus.
so yayyy, i walked briskly over cause it was raining.

i waited for less thn 30mins before it was my turn
and thn left within 5mins. (:
it was ultra good cause i didnt have to wait for long.
but on the other hand, i had to wait for Aiai to end school.
i took the bus down to cck and went to the library.
i was browsing through books aft books
until i settled for a book on dogs
and left whn Aiai texted me.

we were both hungry by the time we met eat other.
so we went to buy a smiliar socks for our handphone
and thn went to sakae for dunch. (lunch+dinner)
we sat there frm 430pm to abt 605pm,
talking/bitching/catching up.

we always have so much to talk about.
the best thing was, we just met on friday. :X
hahahah, we rock please. :D
we walked arnd cck until 7pm
before making our way to the mrt station
and i alighted at bukit batok in mere 10mins. ):
i'm gonna miss you so much Aiai.
times with you are really rocking and unforgettable. ):

i'm contemplating mugging for all my 3 test tmr,
econs, sea hist and bio.and to do my econs hmwrk.
gimme some inspiration to do my hmwrk and study please.
i'm dying of exhaustion both physically and mentally. ):

love brought us together, destiny brought us apart.

MARTHA!

1:07 pm

boom

Sunday, May 17, 2009 9:14 pm

self

listen, ♥
he taste like you, only sweeter.

just some quite time on my own
and i've sort things out.
things aint that bad aft all,
its just the way i thought it was.

thank you for standing by me
and always be there. (:
all i needed was that mental push
and to knw that someone'll always be there.

time passed so slowly today
and i wish it's a brand new day, NOT.
i havent touched my hmwrk
nor have i started to study for biology.
and it sucks so badly
cause i take forever to memorise what i shld. ):

but oh well, i'm TIRED
and i'm waiting for S factor to start and end.
i wanna sleep cause i'm bloody tired.

Bunny, i hope you're feeling better. (:
Voda, i miss you ALOT. ):
Aiai, whn can i see you again? ):
Dearr, whn am i gonna see you again as well? ):
Lover, must i really wait till the 15th of june to see you? ):

my life seem revolve arnd my friends instead of myself.
i'm struggling to keep all my friendships going
cause we have have our different life and schedules to fit into.

i think i'm dying of exhaustion but i will survive.
i'm tired, toodles people and thank you for reading. (:

i tried to go on like i nvr knew you.

MARTHA!

3:51 pm

sunday

listen, ♥
this can go on forever.

all night, my mind has been racing.
i've been cracking my head, thinking of many things.
i wanna stop all these but its failing miserably.
oh well, this is life, somehow frm a different perspective.

about half the day has passed and i've done practially nothing
except to go to and fro church, blog hop and text people.
i'm tired, i'm tired, i'm tired. ):
idk why i'm so tired and drained, maybe because of all the late nights
that is kicking in and taking its toil. ):

well, at least i gt the carnvial off my bck
and its time i get bck to my books.
econs hmwrk to do and bio test to study for.
gp promos in 2 weeks and i'm crying out loud. ):

saucony run nxt sunday and bth my speed and stamina suck so badly. ):
trng doesnt seem to be helping and i hate the fact that i left for the 3week break. ):
i'm regretting every single moment of it
but oh well, whats done cannot be undone.

i slept very early ytd night
and woke up pretty early this morning.
i guess i'll sleep early again tonight
so that i'll be less tired tmr.

theres no sch tmr, YAY! :D
that means i get to go out.
i'll be watching angels and demons. (:

oh, did i mention that the stupid subject tuitor's report suck so much?
i prefer tanglin's way better.
can we like have a freaking report book instead of dumb pieces of paper,
flying arnd?
its really petatic please.

and now, school is a nightmare and a struggle.
i wish things would get better, like soon? ):

i wish Marcus had a mute button
so that i wouldnt be so irritated at times.

J, sometimes you just need to knw whn to shut up.
for instance, NOW before i slap your face.

i'm staring at perfection.

MARTHA!

1:17 pm

wish

listen, ♥
just one last dance.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun
into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast
Time is short.
The music won't last

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short.
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift...
Thrown away.

Life is not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

pass it on.

MARTHA!

Saturday, May 16, 2009 8:23 pm

fazila

listen, ♥
to my Bunny,
with love.

You're Never Alone.

You're never alone, I'm always near,
When your troubled, down or blue.
All you have to do is call me,
I'm always here for you.

It doesn't matter where I'm at,
It doesn't matter when.
When you need someone to talk to,
I'm here to be your friend.

If you need someone to hold your hand,
or a hug to say I care.
If you need a shoulder to cry on,
for you I will be there.

So never think you are a burden,
when the weight gets to be to much.
You might find if look hard enough,
a good friend could be the right touch.

You're never alone, I'm always here,
through the good times and the bad.
I'm always here to be your friend,
I don't like to see you sad.

- KC

xoxo,
MARTHA!

7:48 pm

carnival

listen, ♥
are we heros?

the carnival was a blast but i did nt enjoy any bit of it.
09A1 raised $3500+ and it was awesome,
considering hw much flaws we had.
the organisation sucked so badly
cause the people of the second shift were nowhere to be found
and they couldnt do a very good job.
so the people frm the first shift had to stay for another 1hr
before we could leave.

we were all super duper uper tired from the work.
we wanted food but there wasnt anything nice or filling to eat.
like wtf, the carnival sucked so much for me
cause i wasted $30 doing nothing.
all i spent was $4 and i gave the rest away.
not forgetting hw much i put into the boxes for bth the game and food stall.

poor FazilaBunny lost her handphone
and balls to the person who took it.
i curse you and your family, rest in peace.
like fark sia.

oh well, we reported it to the police
and thn Syazwan left cause he had tuition
while BalqisLove and FazilaBunny accompanied me to macs to buy a meal.
i was freaking hungry nt eating for the day.

i was freaking unlucky cause i gt hit by the pinata twice. ):
once on my hip which hurts like mad
and thn my head which is driving me insane.

i'm having a major headache and i feel very much like dying. ):
okay, i need a major break.
i'll sleep aft dinner, whn my hair is dry.

J, thank you for spoiling my day further.

all i needed was your love.

MARTHA!

Friday, May 15, 2009 11:46 pm

pretend

listen, ♥
better in time.

i hate people who think that they knw me so well.
just fark off okay? you freaking need to get a life please.

i've been soooo bloody busy with so much work to do.
with the freaking mi carnival tmr, i'm alrdy tired and drained.
fark the shithead carnival and i hope it'll be a blast.
i've put in so much effort so it better go well.

screw the class for being incompetant idiots.
sometimes, its bad to have too little guys in class.
i freaking miss 5n1o8' and all the fun we use to have.
i miss how bonded we are and how quickly we get things done.
09A1 freaking needs a life and better home tuitors as claimed.

i think teachers are so bloody stingy, i wish i could kill them.
its amazing how much students are willing to sacrifice,
like more thn what the teachers are forking out just to make the carnival a success.
$^%*^*&%$&%^&^*
*BalqisLove told me to remove it*

meeting up with my lovely girlfriends was so much fun
though i was bloody tired throughout
thanks to the stupid carnival preparation and the amount of homework that is to be done.

and with my allowance being cut by 1/4,
i feel so broken and idk hw i'm gonna survive every month.
with no tuition money rolling in, i'm gonna die nt having what i want. ):
but oh well, its all my fault anyway.
i wanna change my freaking phone and its plan so badly. ):

okie dokie, mi carnival in mere hours.
i shld make my way to bed at 12am.
so goodnight world, sleep tight.

take time to realise.

MARTHA!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009 9:18 pm

study

listen, ♥
take time to realise.

idk if i'm tired or not,
i'm feeling the confusion within me.
i'm sick and tired of studying.

i didnt take my biology test
because i was busy with mi carnival and what not.
gonna get screwed tmr i guess. ):
sorry, sorry, sorry.
i hope i can take the test like aft the mi carnival
whn everyone is more free. (:

i have international history test tmr
and i'm dreading it because i'm so bloody lazy to study for it.
so screw it and i'll study it in abit.

i have gp irp to do and i hate it so much
because i think it doesnt make sense.
i have completely no idea why we have to do irp,
i think it doesnt even help.
its like i dun see the point in doing so.

theres gp timed assignment tmr in class
and i think it wouldnt be that bad?
i'll plan the essay if i want to soon
and i'm still nt done with my tuition hmwrk. ):
i hate the way i laze arnd. ):

i cannot stand hw the way the sch operates
and it's driving me up the freaking wall.
i feel like smacking every personnel in the school
but wtf, its retarded.

trng was so terrible. ):
i didnt clock the timing i wanted to
and i think i lost some of my stamina and speed. ):
its damn sad and i shld lose weight so that i can run faster.
makes sense or nt, it doesnt matter.
like i would really bother to lose weight, such a waste of time.

i wish i could do better for my runs.
i shall keep trng to keep myself fit. :D
okie dokie, shall stop here and do my work.
goodbye, thank you for reading. (:

stop and stare.

MARTHA!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 7:22 pm

yawns

listen, ♥
i would give you my all.

my hard work and late night was paid off
whn Jake gave my grp 8/10 for our presentation. (:
thank you Jake, i'll kill you if you gave me anything lesser.

oh boy, i think teachers have nth better to do.
idk why but they seem too free or they really need entertainment.
all i definately knw, is that they're saddist
awaiting the time you die in their hands.
so screw teachers who think they're fantastic.

its so bloody boring failing class test time and again
and i gt so immune to it, it doesnt matter hw much i get any longer.
so screw exams/tests cause they're like redundant. (:

stayed bck to help Louis with his mi carnival stuff
and i have to mug for biology cause i'm taking the retest tmr.
like zomg, i feel like dying.
i have gp hmwrk to be handed up on thursday
and bth history plus gp to study for.
i still have to do my homework.

i feel so freaking lazy i can just die.
3hrs of sleep before i woke up to do my lit hmwrk.
i'm bloody tired but my brain cannot stop racing.
i think i'm going crazy, maybe in 7yrs. HAHA.

okie dokie, i gotta start mugging and sleep early.
i promised BalqisLove i'll try to sleep early so might as well
and Dear would probably kill me if i sleep late again. :X

i'm going for trng tmr. :D
like officially aft the bloody injury. (:
*jumping for joy*

bye people, thank you for reading. (:
xoxo.

would you believe it?

MARTHA! :D

Monday, May 11, 2009 11:57 pm

sleep

listen, ♥
you search much deeper within.

3mins before a new day
and i cannot sleep until i've completed my work.
i feel farking tired and pissed off
cause things are nt going my way.

i knw i'm suppose to be doing my work and stop ranting
but i'm too pissed to get anything done.

i need to complete my work before i can sleep.
i need to complete the project and thn my lit hmwrk
before making my way to my bed.

i think i need help but oh well.
goodnight to the people who are sleeping
and good luck to the panda you'll see tmr.

thank you for everything Dear,
especially for accompanying me tonight.
iloveyou, xoxo. (:

heart of worship.

MARTHA!

Sunday, May 10, 2009 9:21 pm

stupid

listen, ♥
its all in the mind.

i havent done anything productive today
and i farking hate this fact.
damn it to the maximum please.

the bloody durain is stinking the whole house
and i feel like throwing the whole thing into the dumpster.

theres no sch tmr, so i can meet my Aiai and Dear. (:
i need to get my hmwrk done,
i need to complete my freaking hmwrk.
i need to complete my projects.

i am bloody irritated, i can bang anyone's head on the wall.
i wanna sleep but am waiting for S factor to start and end.
i wanna see hw bimbotic people can get. :X

okie dokie, goodbye.
thank you for reading.

cause its once in a lifetime.

MARTHA!

3:14 pm

nuts

listen, ♥
you got the best of both worlds.

i swear all the projects are driving me NUTS.
i feel like banging the teacher's heads on the wall
and make sure their head and nose bleeds bloody badly.

it alrdy sunday and all i've done is a petatic history essay
which needs to be handed in only on wednesday
and i've neglected the rest which has to be passed up on tuesday.
good job Marty, you suck like nuts.

so its nt only the worse birthday celebration i've got,
mother's day is no better.
we didnt have a celebration cause only the 5 of us are home, as usual
and it really is meaningless to celebrate mother's day
without a complete family.
a freaking flop all ovr again, what a disastrous year. ):

i'm dreading the year so badly and i want it to move faster
now that i knw that i wouldnt enjoy any day of my life this year.
fark this feeling, fark this boring life.

Voda, i miss you x53675783665758434232. ):
i'm just waiting for you to return again.
we havent done so much together
and i bet you miss me just as much. (x
i'm just being thick skin to make my day.

okay, i need to keep working on my freaking projects
before i can be free tmr. (:
alrighties, goodbyeeeeee.

just take control.

MARTHA!

12:54 pm

mummy

listen, ♥

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! :D

thank you for the love and support you've given me
throughout my 18yrs of living.
iloveyou more with each new day. (:

xoxo,
MARTHA! :D

Saturday, May 09, 2009 8:23 pm

shut

listen, ♥
you make my heart skip a beat.

i'm compiling all that i've written
because i'm sick of seeing thousand and one post in a day.

i swear saturdays are never the days that i can work,
i feel so freaking lazy and what not.
after whinning for the past 8hrs, i havent done anything productive
other thn do Mum a mother's day card so someone please kill me.

okay, this is driving me to my grave.
i'll probably sleep early again
and i promise to reply any text no matter how late
and i will not accidentally switch off my phone.

i'm nt feeling any better thn ytd so its such a nightmare.
i'm nt recovering frm my freaking flu
and so much for crying out loud.
i swear i feel so bloody tortured i can just die.

7minutes before i'll bang my head on the wall
if i dun figure out what to write in the card.
i feel like crap and super idiotic,
i wish i could give you the best mother's day
but i'm sorry that its beyond me Mum.
you knw iloveyou just the way you love me. (:

i wasted my time trying to take a nap
because i couldnt even fall asleep. ):

sorry Dear, i didnt get your shirt today
cause i didnt meet my Sweethearts.
next week okay, i promise!

just be that silence in my life, its more thn enough.

you'll nvr understand this agony.

MARTHA!

Friday, May 08, 2009 8:20 pm

apart

listen, ♥
can you keep up?

let everything be my fault,
i dun wanna see us fall apart. ):

its nt easy building a friendship
but easy to destroy one.
its nt easy to go as far as we did
but easy to turn a blind eye.

can you understand where i'm coming from?
can you understand hw i'm feeling?

our friendship is worth much more, seriously.
let's start working things out and start trashing things out,
i see it as the best alternative to our problems.

i hope/wish/pray that at the end of the day,
its you people who are walking with me through life.
its a small request but it requires alot of sacrifices.

as much as i wanna be your pillars of support,
i need a break from all these.

we're one and thats what it'll always be!
we'll all keep rocking together, as one.
as long as we believe and trust in this friendship,
we will make it eventually.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU, ALOT!

its all within you.

MARTHA! ):

7:20 pm

name

listen, ♥

M: success comes easily to you.
A: you can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R: you are a social butterfly.
T: you have an attitude, a big one.
H: you are not judgemental.
A: you can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

5:10 pm

reluctant

listen, ♥
i tried to be perfect in all that i do.

i can easily drop dead in 7seconds.
i'm falling asleep as the seconds go by
and i cannot find any inspiration to do my projects at all,
let alone my essay-filled hmwrk.
urgh, give me a break and a freaking life please.

idk whats going on arnd me, everything seems to be wrong.
everything's going in a completely different direction
frm what i'm expecting it to,
so tell me this is life as well.

i'm tired frm all the nonsense i'm receiving frm you.
i'm sick and tired of all your crap/bullshit.
just shut up and go away, get out of my life.
for goodness sake, please.

so sch was a freaking disaster and i hate it to the max,
maybe i shouldnt even have gone to sch.
i need my sleep so badly, i need my driving force to push me forward.
where are you, where are you, where are you?

Aiai, thank you for delicating that post to me.
i appreciate it ALOT. (:
whn life's bitch, i knw i can always count on you for support.
iloveyou, massive.

Voda, how have you been?
i havent heard frm you since you left. ):
iloveyou, imissyou, where are you?

i wish that all the people arnd me would be happy.
can all of you cheer up please?
i feel like dying whenever i see all of you this way.

I WOULD GLADLY DIE IN YOUR ARMS.

and you'll nvr understand what i'm going through.

MARTHA! :D

Thursday, May 07, 2009 10:47 pm

treasure

listen, ♥
i wanna love you.

as the saying goes ;
"you dun treasure someone until he/her leaves"
and i happen to be such a person, in this category
but what am i to say?
i see my whole family like that
and moreover, no one cares.

idk why i suddenly thought of it, it just randomly sparked in my head
and its still spinning arnd and round like no body's business.

i can officially return for track tmr
and i'm happy but the thing is,
Rachel and Huishi are nt going.
other thn Bunny, idk who else is going. ):

i swear i'm in no mood to train aft nt doing so for weeks
and i'm so bloody tired.
i'm stuck with medications and i hate swallowing pills
cause it makes me wanna puke.

i have a tuition test nxt week and homework to top up everything.
urgh, i so wanna die.
the good thing to rejoice about,
sch will be free and easy tmr cause we dun have any lessons. :D

furthermore, i'm on a 2days mc for no rhyme or reason but yeahh.
HAHA! :X the doctor was just being paranoid i guess?
i get to see my clique tmr, YAY!

and at this time of the night, i'm still eating.
i need to run those fats off.
okie dokie, enough said.

boulevard of broken dreams.

MARTHA! :D

4:50 pm

greatttt

listen, ♥
you lighten up my life.

OPERATION : SUCCESS! :D
its the first time i've ever planned a surprise party
and it turned out to be a success after all. (:
i'm soooo bloody happy! :D

thank you for making this operation a success people,
it'll nvr be possible without you guys and iloveyou! :D

so it was Syazwan's birthday and he was probably wondering
why we're nt celebrating it for him.
and to trick him, i had to think through everything i say
so that i wouldnt give myself away
and YAY! :D i did it. (: (: (:

i'm glad you enjoyed yourself and love the present. (:
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY SYAZWAN! :D


you'll always be my thunder.

i went off aft Syazwan's birthday party to meet Buddy.
she came ovr to my hse to sit while i gt ready.
she made me wear a dress and heels
and i was bloody dying in it
but for her, i did. (:

as i didnt plan this party, i was lost inbetween.
it was all good and we had macs for dinner,
oh goodness, i'm having macs too often.
okay, i need to go on a massive diet
so that i wun gain weight. ):

we walked arnd clarke quay but couldnt find a spot whr we can hang out at
because both Buddy's and my brother couldnt enter.
so we decided to head ovr to boat quay
and we went to slack in a bar.

as i cannot drink at all, i had a glass of soda
while the others drank till their hearts content,
all except me and Buddy's boyfriend
cause he needed to drive.

we were there until past 1130pm
and i was tired and exhausted from everything.
so Buddy's boyfriend sent us all home
and THANK YOU HERMAN,
for being so nice. (:

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BUDDY! :D
i hope you enjoyed yourself. (:

you give me strength so i stand tall.

MARTHA! :D

4:00 pm

birthdays

listen, ♥
whn nth seems right.

i'll update on the 2 birthday parties that was held ytd in a seperate post. (:

i woke up at 7am this morning
and walked all the way to westmall to meet Rachel.
pass her the mi shorts and thn left for home.
people were wondering why i'm nt in sch uniform
and walking in a completely opposite direction.

oh well, its all over.
i went to clementi's polyclinic to see a doctor
and she gave me a 2 days mc.
but still, i'm going to sch tmr. (:

i'm tired and i have tuition in the night.
but its okay, all worth it
and i'm hoping we dun have a test. (x
i'm working on my tuition homework
and its nt getting anywhere.

i have lit homework to do and yes,
i'll do it ltr.
okie dokie, goodbye.
i'll blog abt the birthdays soon, promise.

GET WELL SOON SYAZWAN! (:

tell me its forever.

MARTHA! :D

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 12:05 am

jacky

listen, ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKY! :D

i miss you and all your crap.
best wishes always. (:

xoxo,
MARTHA! :D

12:02 am

syazwan

listen, ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAZWAN! :D

thank you for everything you have given, said and done for me. (:
thank you for always being there to encourage me
and catch me whn i fall.
whn i need someone, be my pillar of support
and whn i need to vent my anger, my punching bag.

have a great dayyyy. :D
xoxo.

Love,
MARTHA! :D

Tuesday, May 05, 2009 8:57 pm

loonee

8:40 pm

happy

listen, ♥
whatever it takes.

its been a long time since we last sat down and talked
and it felt all so good to be by your side once again.
i missed you so much, you knw?

things hasnt been going right for me
but you just came arnd
and made my screwed up day all-so-wonderful
and i thank you for that. (:

those amazing times will never be forgotten.
will you remember me and all that we've been through?

you promised to carry me and run forever,
will you carry out that promise you've made?
i doubt so but still, i'm happy to ever call you mine. (:

whn i'm with you.

MARTHA! :D

Monday, May 04, 2009 11:36 pm

brain

listen, ♥
over different lives.

econs is sucking all my brain juice
and i'm drained from all the information.
i'm tired and my eyelids are attempting to shut as i type.
oh god, theres bth econs and sea history test tmr.
all the heavy topics are killing me, slowly. ):

Dear, you need as much rest as i do.
sleep early okay, xoxo. (:

i need to wake up early to study
despite sleeping late.
i've summarised the 20pages long notes into 6pages.
i'm awesome. (:

goodnight people, sleep tight.
thank you for reading. (:

BalqisLove, you shld catch some sleep first.
you're tired too, you need ample rest.

tears behind the smile.

MARTHA! :D

6:34 pm

double

listen, ♥
the world and its wonders.

i have 2 test to study for
and i need a huge break.
i'm tired from school
but i have to continue to strive.

msn is giving me truck loads of problem
and i forsee myself slamming lappy soon,
if it doesnt sign me into msn. :P

nothing much today, BalqisLove didnt go to sch
and Lover texted me today. :D
i'm so bloody happy and ovr the moon
that i decided to study ultra hard for my test
thanks to Lover and the 6 million smileys she sent me. :}

Buddy's turning 18 tmr. :D
iloveyouuu. :P

BalqisLove,
get well soon. (:
xoxo.

for as long as we can hold.

MARTHA! :D

Sunday, May 03, 2009 9:07 pm

crashed

listen, ♥
it just cannot get any better.

my split second decision is making my world crash even faster thn before.
i see myself sinking too deep, nt being able to stand up again.
i depict my life as a nightmare filled slump built on lies.
theres no foundation in this life and i'm find it a struggle to live.
give me a reason to live, let me think that there'll really be a brighter tmr.

life's not the same anymore and i'm trying to hold on for as long as i can.
can you see the misery in my eyes, its flowing like the never ending river.
will you understand how i feel and what i'm going through?

i nvr thought of it this way.

MARTHA!

4:37 pm

aloysius

listen, ♥

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ALOYSIUS! :D

thank you for walking with me through thick and thin
for the last 6yrs, you've been a joy to have arnd
and i thank you for being ever so sprightly in my daily life.
thank you for having a never say die attitude
and for always cheering me on when i need someone.

you've been GREAT and i'm glad to always have you arnd.
iloveyouboy, for always standing by me. (:
keep in touch always and i'll always be there,
rain or shine, just like you were there for me. :D

xoxo,
MARTHA!

3:41 pm

bewildered

listen, ♥
just so you know.

i'm bewildered, just where did i go wrong?
i went to meet Sunshine in the morning for a walk
and thn for breakfast and thn her hse to see Soda
before heading to westmall to meet Aunty
and thn making my way home.

i'm very tired from all the shit i'm receiving
and because i woke up early.
i need to do my hmwrks and study for my test,
if its possible.

i wanna go on a sugar rush so that i'll feel better.
enough said, goodbye.

whn it all falls apart.

MARTHA!

Saturday, May 02, 2009 11:51 pm

understand

8:38 pm

goodbye

listen, ♥
the silence in our heavy hearts.

a silent goodbye was all i could offer.
goodbye and i'll miss you.

though we didnt spend much time together,
just about 4hrs frm the weeks you return.
its nt abt hw much time we spend together
but your presence in my life.

i hope everything's alright.
i hope things would get better for you.
i wish you well and i hope you're okay.
you knw i'll always be there for you,
like you were there whn i needed someone.

iloveyou, always
and i promise to stand by you no matter what happens.

I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING,
I AM NOT AFRAID TO WALK THIS WORLD ALONE,
CAUSE I'LL ALWAYS HAVE YOU!

its in yourself.

for you a thousand times over,
MARTHA! :D